And the crowd goes wild!!

Everyone should have at least one time in there life when they shine like a super star.

Mine was at FFA camp in the Adirondack mountains.

This camp is the coolest place on earth. They have all kinds of great things to do, canoeing, swimming, horse riding, cross cut sawing, and they also have a class on running a chainsaw, yes I said chainsaw.

Of course I had to take that class, sounded like fun.

During the first class the instructor said "I will teach you how to run a chainsaw so anyone who wants to enter the chainsaw competition at the end of the week can. This is open to both boys and girls.

How cool.

"Of course never in the history of the camp has a girl won, but you are still invited to try".

"Good grief I thought" why hasn't a girl ever won?, what in the hell could be so hard about this?"

"Count me in", I yelled I am gonna win.

silence from the instructor

Loud laughing from the instructor.

"Whatever girlie, you can try but it's a hard thing to do"

"Whatever "I muttered back

The camp lasts for a whole week. It is just the best time in the world. For the remaining 6 days while the other girls flirted with boys, I practiced with that chainsaw. While they went to a movie, I practiced. Any free time I had, I practiced.

You had to take the chainsaw and cut on a log, once down, then up , then down again. You are timed. Looks easy. You really have to concentrate.

All I thought about was that competition, all I talked about was that competition. I really wanted to win.

Really.

On the night on the competition, all the girls had made me signs out of cardboard to root me on. It was held at night with light shining. It was the coolest thing in the world to me.

They let the boy go first who was chosen to represent them. The buzzer went off and he cut the log. I don't remember what the time was, doesn't matter. When he was done, they put the time on a big cardboard sign and all the boys cheered.

My turn, holy crap this is scary.
Start the chainsaw, the buzzer goes off, holy crap I can do this, I can do this, holy crap. I was so scared to death, holy crap.

DOWN UP DOWN

turn off the chainsaw.

It seems like eternity. When they gave the time, it was shorter than the boys. OH MY GOD!!!!!!!!!!!

The crowd cheered !!!!!!!!
Everyone ran to hug me, it was unreal, I actually beat those nasty boys. The instructor walked over to me and said "I can't believe you did it, you did a hell of a job girl!!".

That was over 20 years ago and I can still feel the excitement of kicking their asses.

Pointy sneakers

There has been a few times in my life when someone has told me something so profound that I have never forgot it. One of those times happened to me when I was very young. I wasn't even in school yet, I was that young.

My mom and me were out in the barn doing chores and out of the blue she said to me "Annie, don't you ever start a fight".


"How weird is this?" I thought to myself.

"Don't ever start a fight, but on the other hand don't let me ever hear that you backed down from one either, you are the oldest in this family, don't forget that".

Holy crap this was some really weird information my mom gave me. She was not the type who was full of insightful info at all. When she said something like that, I listened.


I didn't know it then, but my whole life that has been in the back of my little head. Anyone that knows me knows that I never back down from a fight or argument. This doesn't mean I always win, it just means I never back down.

I remember the first time it happened. I was on the bus, I was in Kindergarten. We were the little kindergarten kids, you know the new ones who everyone just seems they have to pick on. In those days, everyone sat on the bus wherever they could get a seat, now they put the younger kids in the front, I am sure the person who made that rule got beat up a lot in school.

I was sitting in the seat with my friend Gracie. We had these really cool plastic bookbags that were popular in the 70's. They were see thru plastic, ugly as hell, and big, real big when you are 5 .

I remember this older boy had to sit in the seat with us because obviously there were no other seats. After a few minutes, he decided that Gracies bookbag was in his way, so he kicked it. I told him to stop, but he kicked it again. In those days we really had pride in our school stuff, we were real proud of these ugly bags---real proud.

Again I told him to stop it. He was about a million years older than us and a lot bigger. Grace told me to be quiet "He will beat us up, Anne" just be quiet.


"Hell with that I thought this kid is being really mean I am not gonna back down."

I stood my ground.

One more kick to the bag.

"I said stop kicking that bookbag".

"whatcha gonna do little girlie?"

I sat there silent for a moment knowing full well this kid could kill me.

In those days we wore these little white pointy sneakers, they were real pointy, not like the sneakers of today, I mean these babies were killer pointy.

I stood up, kicked him in the leg with my pointy sneaker, took a deep breath and sat down.

"Anne he is gonna kill us".

"So?"

Grace jumped out of the seat and ran to get the bus driver.

The boy shoved me.

I kicked him again, and again


and again

The bus pulled over and the bus driver came back to see what in the hell was going on.

I was still kicking.

"O.k. Annie you can stop now", says the bus driver.

"get to the front of the bus, so and so , you have just lost your privilege to sit back here".

"Good" says the mean boy "that girl is crazy".

I sat in that seat all the way to school shaking, Grace just stared straight ahead. I never said a word the whole way.

After that Grace and I sat where we wanted to and none of the mean boys ever bothered us again.

The moral of this story: always wear your pointy sneakers, you never know when you might need them.

plan b

O.K. here is plan "B" I have contacted these two ladies to run through the parking lot naked at the Milk co-op. They said they would be happy to do it for me . Anything for a good cause you know.

I will let you know when this is going to take place.

Annie

6 beers

If I finish this 6 pack I can probably teach you guys "Powerpoint" whatever the hell that is.

Finally!!!!!!!!

O.K. I sat down tonight with a 6 pack and told myself "self, you can do this, you can learn how to cut and paste, that Ann Phillips thinks shes so darn smart, well after 4 beers i finally got it .. Thanks to Koch's beer the following is an accomplishment , a milestone in my life!!!! Thanks Ann!!