Wednesday, March 24, 2010

the church song??

OK, so tonight I am milking cows.  Alone, by myself again. Just me and the radio. When all the sudden this song comes on.  I had to go turn it up I thought I was hearing things.  I started laughing so hard I had tears running down my little evil face.

I am sorry, I know I am not supposed to hate people, but I must admit in my  45 years I have come across one or two people that I don't particulaly care for.

If you are one of them and you are reading this, then you know who you are. 

I have never even heard of the singer, or the song, but I am in love with both of them.

Talk later,


Wednesday, March 17, 2010

i have never followed directions very well

OK, so I overhear my kids talking this morning while they are getting ready for school.

"Hey Loretta, remember when Mom put those cool shamrocks on my face?"

"Yeah, she got in alot of trouble for that".

I was getting their green stuff ready for St. Patrick's day and they were chatting with each other.  I am not Irish, but always dress them in green.  I threw together a 5 minute skirt out of a piece of felt i got last year at a garage sale and a piece of elastic for Izzy.  The other two are old enough they put their outfits together by themselves.

A few years ago Susie used to go to Headstart.  It is a pre-k program.  It's really a great program. The only thing is they don't celebrate holidays.  The first day of orientation they muttered something about it but as usual I was not listening.

When St. Patrick's day rolled around I had some cool sparkly shamrocks I grabbed from the dollar store.  I throw them in cards so when you open up the card all this green crap falls out on you.  I took a handful of them and glued them to Susie's face with a gluestick. Looked great.  

Or so I thought.

I sent her to school.

About a half an hour later I got a phone call from the school.

"Anne, you are going to have to pick up Susie, she has Shamrocks on her face and this is against the policy."


"You have got to be kidding me". Was my reply.

"No, Anne.

"For God's sake, wash the crap off with a washcloth, I will never try to have fun in Headstart again!"

I hung up.

She came home and was a bit disappointed.  I felt like buying a thousand dollars worth of green shamrocks and dumping them in the Headstart parking lot.  Because I am broke, I couldn't do that.


Erin Go Braugh

Top of the Morning to you and all that crap

Talk later,

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

    Recipe for Home-Made Fabric Softener
  • A strong plastic container
  • 1 cup baking soda
  • 6 cups distilled white vinegar
  • 8 cups water
  • (Optional) 10-15 drops orange or lemon essential oil (available at health food stores)
First, add the baking soda to the plastic container. Add 1 cup of the water to start with, then SLOWLY add the vinegar to the bottle. The vinegar and baking soda will fizz. Then add the rest of the water. Slowly swirl and cover – you will need to vent the lid a few times.
Use 1 cup in your final rinse cycle for each load.

Tuesday, March 9, 2010

pass the pecker?

ok so i am making breakfast this morning and Izzy the four year old yells out "pass the pecker".

I dropped my spatula on the floor, i couldn't stop laughing.

"Pepper"  Izzy.

"No, Mama it's pecker."

God help me.

Talk later,


Monday, March 8, 2010

awesome recipe sounds like crap, tastes wonderful!!

1 c. all-purpose flour
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 c. butter
1/2 c. peanut butter
1/3 c. granulated sugar
1/3 c. brown sugar, packed
1/2 c. carrots, shredded
2 egg whites
1/2 tsp. vanilla
1 c. rolled oats
In a bowl, stir together flour and baking soda. In a larger mixing bowl, beat butter with electric mixer on medium speed for thirty seconds. Add peanut butter, granulated sugar, and brown sugar. Beat until fluffy. Add carrot, egg whites, and vanilla. Beat well. Add dry ingredients to beaten mixture. Beat until combined, stir in oats. Drop dough by rounded teaspoonsful 2 inches apart on ungreased cookie sheet. Bake at 375 degrees for 10 minutes. Cool on wire rack. Makes 48 cookies.

Sunday, March 7, 2010


ok so my daughter who is three goes to church.  She is in the bathroom and has a skirt on with socks and underwear, she hears the bell for offering.  She runs out of the bathroom, forgets to put her skirt and  on and runs up to the alter to give her money.

Butt Naked.

God Help me

talk later,


Saturday, March 6, 2010

Gene Palmer how I remember him

My favorite "grumpy old man"

When I was a kid I spent half my life staying overnight at my best friend Grace's house.  I met her when I was 5 and can't remember when I stayed there for the first time but I was probably 5 and a half.

She would call me, our moms would discuss the drop off arrangements, and I would stay over.

Her Dad was older and already retired.  I think he was a carpenter for the Union.  Unlike my Dad who went to work everyday on the second shift,  Grace's dad was always home and had the job of "watching us".

Poor guy.

He was the original "Grumpy old Man".  Walter Matthou has nothing over on Eugene Palmer.

It would usually go something like this.

My mom would drop me off at Grace's, I would have my little brown bag all packed with my overnight clothes.  Grace would meet me in the driveway and we would run into the house and run to the back of the house first thing.  That is where her dad had his wood work shop.  It was so cool to me.  My Dad didn't have anything like that.  I remember him always smoking and working in that shop.


The shop smelled of cigarettes and sawdust.

I remember there was one of those pictures of the doggie with the sad eyes hanging on one wall.

He carved things out of wood.  We used to watch him and drive him nuts.

The conversation usually went something like this.

"Hi, Mr Palmer".

"When did you get here, Annie?"

"I just got here, Mr. Palmer".

"Who in the hell said you could stay here?"

"Mrs Palmer".

"She never told me about it".


We would both giggle.

"How long are you going to be staying?"

"Until Sunday, Mr Palmer".

"That's way too long".

giggle, giggle.

"Why don't  you two go play in the road or something?"

"we would get run over by a car Mr Palmer".

"That's the idea, dumb dumb"

giggle, giggle.

"Mr Palmer, my dad doesn't smoke".


"The last time you were here I caught hell from Edie.  You two little idiots got into Darlene's crap.  I am warning you, DONT DO IT AGAIN!!"

"Oh sure Mr.Palmer"

"I mean it"

giggle, giggle.

"And don't eat all the damn cookies like you did last time."

"Yes sir"

giggle, giggle.

When he was in a good mood, sometimes he would get out his harmonica for us and play it.  Usually after supper.  We loved that.

I remember once he carved out a pair of clogs out of wood.  I wanted those shoes in the worst way.

"Mr Palmer can you make me a pair of those shoes?"

"Now why in the hell would I want to make YOU a pair of those shoes?"

I asked him about a hundred times, getting the same answer every time.

I never gave up.

I remember one day he had to take me home.  We loaded up in his old Blue truck.

He drove me and Grace to my house. 

"Get out you little brat".

giggle, giggle.

"And oh yeah ,  here is something you forgot."

He handed me something wrapped in an old crinkled up kleenex.

I didn't open it up until i got to my bedroom.

In that old crinkled up kleenex was a pair of those carved clogs.

That old guy really did have a heart of gold.

I miss him.

Giggle, Giggle.

Talk later,


Thursday, March 4, 2010

i told you !!!!! people tell everything on facebook

(March 4) -- Last week, the U.S. military announced it would start allowing troops in the field to use social networking services like Twitter. But the latest demonstration of how such sites can blast confidential information into the public sphere came on Wednesday, when the Israeli army announced it had booted out a soldier who revealed details of an upcoming raid on Facebook.

The soldier, from an elite unit of the Artillery Corps, announced on his Facebook page that, "On Wednesday, we are cleaning out [a West Bank village] -- today an arrest operation, tomorrow an arrest operation and then, please God, home by Thursday."

Other members of the unit, who were also his Facebook friends (but might not be anymore), saw the leak and alerted officers. They scrapped the operation out of fear that Web-savvy enemies might have seen the post. The soldier was court-martialed, sentenced to 10 days in jail and kicked out of the battalion.

Israeli forces have now promised to crack down on use of social media sites, and launched a campaign to raise awareness of the dangers of sharing secrets online. "Uploading classified information to social networks or any Web site exposes the information to anyone who wishes to view it, including foreign and hostile intelligence services," the military said in a statement. "Hostile intelligence agents scan the Internet with an eye toward collecting information on the IDF (Israel Defense Forces), which may undermine operational success and imperil IDF forces."

The soldier is just the latest in a long line of hapless Web users who've committed costly Facebook faux pas or acted like twerps on Twitter. Here's a rundown of six of the greatest social media screw-ups:

THE SPY BOSS: Britain's Secret Intelligence Service (also known as MI6) traditionally keeps schtum about its operatives' identities. So British newspapers were outraged last summer when the wife of spy chief Sir John Sawers posted pictures of her husband, their children and chums on Facebook. The biggest state secrets revealed online? Sawers enjoys a game of beach Frisbee and wears blue Speedos.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

green eggs and ham?

Yesterday was Dr. Suess's birthday.  Our school usually makes green eggs and ham for lunch for fun.  This year they didn't do it.

Maybe there is no money in the budget for green food coloring.  Maybe it's against school policy now.  

Maybe the governor vetoed against fun in schools.
Maybe it was green dye number 2.

Who the hell knows.

I am sure some idiot got mad about it.

What's next?

Talk later,



Monday, March 1, 2010

5 steps at a time

When we moved here to this crap  hole we call a farm there was so much garbage laying around I thought it was a garbage dump when we first came here.  It was unreal.

After about a week of getting nowhere picking it up, I called my sister in tears. "How in the hell can I pick all this crap up?"  She had moved to a house a few years back with alot of crap.

"OK Anne stop your crying, this is what you do, take 2 rocks, then take 5 steps, mark the area with the rocks, take a wheel barrow and pick up all the crap, take it to the dumpster and leave it alone until tomarrow, you are just overwhelmed, you can do it".


I pulled myself together and tried it.  

It worked!!!  It didn't happen overnight but I got the whole lawn picked up 5 steps at a time.  

I use this method to pick up the house and the barn when things get totally out of control.

When things get totally out of control, just take them 5 steps at a time.

Talk later,