When your thigh highs aren't "thigh high"

OK, so we go to church on Sundays now that we are living back home.  The kids love it.  We have a great church. 

It's the only day I actually get to dress up.  I havent worn pantyhose in a million years.  One of my friends tells me to buy "thigh highs".  She says they are the greatest thing.  She says you don't need all that extra bulkiness that pantyhose has.

So I buy a pair.

I put my skirt on and put these weird things on.  They have a thing on them that looks like a big rubber band that holds them onto your thigh. 

They seem too tight to me.  They make my legs look like a sausage stuffed into a casing.

I roll down the thigh high where I don't feel it will cut off the circulation in my legs and I go to church.

Everything is good.

We sing alot in our church.

On the last song I stand up and my thigh highs don't.

They fall down to my ankles.

I guess I rolled down the rubber band thing that clings to your leg.

I look around to see if anyone has noticed.

Karen is sitting next to  me.

I keep singing trying not to start laughing.

I feel like Ruth Buzzy.

I look like Ruth Buzzy.

We sit down and I try to pull the darn things up.

It is not working.

Karen notices and tries to keep her composure.

I manage to get them up far enough so I can run to the bathroon when service is over and pull them up  the rest of the way.

I am not ready to jump into the 2000's.

Lord help me.

Talk later,

Annie