Karen's Graduation or my two right feet

OK, so Karen's graduation was last night.  I haven't worn normal "dress up" clothes in 100 years and I wanted to look nice for it.

Little did I know what a pain in the butt that would turn out to be.

OK, I have been dying to buy a pair of black boots, you know the tall ones with the heels.  Skinny women wear them with dresses, so why can't I pull off the look?


I found the perfect pair about 2 weeks ago in Salvation Army.  Size 8 wide.  


Perfect.


Or so I thought.


I also needed a dress.  Janet warned me the other day on the phone  "make sure you try on everything you buy at those second hand shops, just because it looks like it will fit doesn't mean it WILL.


What the hell does she know anyway?


I have been putting a few dresses away that I find at my thrifty shops where you stuff a bag for a dollar.  They looked pretty cool and trendy.  I grabbed what I thought was my size.


Hah.

Of course I never actually tried any of them on, why bother?


So, last night I am trying them on.


After 5 failed attempts to get the dresses over my head or over my arms, I resorted to a stretchy lowcut blouse with a pair of super wide legged black dress pants.


I forgot that throwing hay and milking cows for the past 30 years has made my arms into the size of a linebacker for the Buffalo Bills football team.

Basically I look like Klinger in a dress.

I threw on my make up and went to the closet for those "boots".  

I put one on and it looked awesome!!


I put the other one on and Izzy starts to talk.  "Mommy I think that boot is the same as the other one".


"What are you talking about girl?"


I tried to pull the boot over my foot. The zipper was on wrong side of the boot.


"OH MY GOD!"


They were both right feet.


Foiled again.


I grabbed a pair of brown heels.  They seemed to fit.


Halfway through the ceremony I remembered why I never wear high heels,  not only do I have the widest shoulders and arms in the free world, I also have the widest feet because I have been going barefoot or wearing black rubber boots for 12 years.


I bucked it up, had a great time, even went out to dinner after the ceremony.


I am typing this with one foot up on a stool, my baby toe is starting to come to life now.


Don't worry about me. I will be OK.


Talk later,


Annie