It's a Catholic thing

When I was a kid my Mom used to let me stay with some friends who had a dairy farm. I loved it there. I was not from a farm so this was a huge treat for me. They had 10 kids, tons a chickens, and enough work to go around for all of us . It was like heaven to me.

I was raised Catholic, but we didn't go to church every week. I knew the basics and had a real respect for it. Back in the day we had respect for things, we also had FEAR.

My girlfriends mom had the most beautiful flower bed I had ever seen. It had pansys, marigolds, you name it, it was in there I swear. It was in a circular shape and in the middle was a statue of the Mother Mary. It was the most beautiful statue I had ever seen. My mom didn't have one of those.

We used to play kickball, for those of you who are unfamiliar with the term kickball, it is a game played outdoors by children. It was invented to keep us outside, way before computer games.

One day my friend says "did you know that if you go in that flower bed you will go to hell?"

"Oh yeah right" I replied.

"Why don't ya go in there then?"

"Don't wanna"

I steered clear of that flower bed. REAL clear.

Unfortunately it was next to the driveway where we played.

One day it happened..........someone kicked the ball too hard and it landed in the flower bed right next to the statue, I forgot myself being caught up in the moment, ran to get the ball and threw it back.

"I can't believe you just did that!"

"What?"

"You went in that garden dummie!!" You are going to hell now for sure. It was nice knowing you! She walked away like it was no big deal for her for Pete's sake I was the one going to hell not her.

I tried to act like it didn't bother me. I was scared to DEATH!!!!!! I remember finishing the game trying not to look at that statue, surely it would tell on me.

Crap, when would they be coming to take me to hell?

Crap my mom will kill me.

During supper i could barely eat. There was an statue in the dining room of the Infant of Prague. I knew for sure it was looking at me. Just waiting to tell on me. I couldn't look it in the eye either.

I laid awake all night, thinking about what it was gonna be like in hell. Was it really hot there? Does the devil really poke you with a pitchfork all day? I knew for sure if I fell asleep they would come to take me there so I tried not to fall asleep. It was the longest night of my life.

The next morning I remember waking up and looking around. I was still in the bedroom, it didn't look like a firey pit was anywhere to be seen. I looked around the corner in the hallway, surely the devil was waiting out there. Where in the heck was he?

Finally my friend woke up? She looked well rested. I made it through the night, maybe they had forgotten to come and get me. Oh thank goodness.

For the next few days I was really good, I did dishes without being asked, did chores like a super star so that statue could see me.

They never came to get me.

I still have respect for people's things and I still have respect for those statues.

Til this day sometimes I wonder when they are coming to get me.