Thursday, January 7, 2010

Mom, I am not full of crap, really

It seems like my whole life my mom has been telling me "Anne, you are full of crap". Actually everyone tells me that, my sister, my boyfriend, everyone.

I love to tell stories and I will admit I might tend to "embellish" them a bit once in a while, but I am not full of crap. The main story is true, usually.

I love the computer because now I can print out articles or "cut and paste" as my friend Ann puts it, and prove I AM NOT FULL OF CRAP.

Ok here is an example.

We moved to that farm in Dewittville, New York and my mom called. "Anne, how are the kids?"

"Good Mom"

"How was the move?"

"It sucked Mom, how are you?"

"Good"

"Oh, Mom the other day there was this old guy here and he told me there is a cemetery on this property that has 1500 people buried in it 4 deep, can you believe that?"

"How are the kids, Anne?"

"Mom, did you hear what I just said?, it used to be the county poor farm here".

"Anne, how are the kids?"

"Mom, did you hear what I just said?"

Long pause.

"Anne, that's illegal to bury that many people that deep, he must have been telling you a lie or story, don't believe everything you hear from old men".

"Mom, I walked back there, it's real I tell ya. There are markers with 4 numbers on each one. That tells who is buried under there. There is a list somewhere out there that tells who is buried there".

Another long pause.

"Anne, I know you are under alot of stress, I will call you again tomarrow, say hello to the kids".

I hung up and knew damn well she didn't believe a flippin' word I said.

NOW I CAN PRINT THIS CRAP OFF THE COMPUTER.

My girlfriend gave me a printer and I actually saved up a million dollars for the ink. I printed off the cemetery stuff to send to Mom.

With my luck she will think I typed it and made up the whole thing.


Talk later,

Annie



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