Thigh highs?

Ok, so I haven't worn anything on my feet except for men's white socks for 12 years.  I had to dress in normal clothes for Karen's graduation and being raised in the 80's, I had to wear these things the cave women call "pantyhose".

In the day, we used to wear "knee highs".  These were pretty easy to figure out. Obviously they were worn at your "knees".

Simple.

I have been watching women at public events and on the internet since I have been home, and have noticed that NO ONE wears pantyhose anymore.

OK, for those of you too young to know what in the hell I am talking about,the definition of pantyhose is: " something worn over your legs to hide scars, flab, and give legs color", woman's legs are not supposed to look like Klinger's legs from M.A.S.H.

So I get a call from a friend and we are talking about pantyhose.  

"Oh Anne, no one wears pantyhose anymore and if they do, they wear "thigh highs", the full piecers are way too hot."

Silence on my end.

"Oh".

I wandered into Walmart and grabbed a pair of these "thigh highs", tossed them in my cart among the tuna fish and wheat bread.I got home, threw them into my dresser drawer, and continued on with my boring  housewife life.  I was picturing looking like one of those sexy pin up girls from the 40's.

Oh yeah, whatever.

Fast forward to Graduation Day.

The following is my experience with "thigh highs", continue reading at your own risk.

You put these things on and they have a band  on the top to hold them onto your leg.  Unless you have "thighs of steel", this band cuts into your leg and you immediately look like a sausage in a casing.  I pulled this rubber band type thing down farther on my leg and the pantyhose now looks like an elephants leg.

I put my black dress pants on and said a silent prayer "Please God let there be a seat in the back of the church".

He heard my prayer.

Talk later,

Annie