I glanced out the window at the huge area in the front of the old barn that was supposed to be my "Garden". It had the tallest weeds in Ashville, clear over the kids heads. I never had time to even pick the junk out of it let alone actually plant something there.
"Ok hon, yeah , sure, i will start right now."
"The feedmill has chicks for sale why don't ya buy a bunch, Dad always gets a bunch, does real well with them ya know". His dad doesn't have 4 kids and 100 cows to milk, but ok what the hell.
I called the feedmill,"I need some chicks".
"Blonde or redhead was the reply"
"Oh God he's trying to be funny I thought"
"Just chickens you know, chickens."
"Ok maam we can order you some, what kind? "The kind with feathers that lay eggs i guess?" I replied.
"I said what kind?"
"Hell if i know, pal just order me some chickens, i am sure i am on speaker phone when i call there, they know i am not the brightest bulb in the socket when it comes to ordering crap from the feedmill I NEVER order the right stuff NEVER.
"Do ya want them sexed".
"oh real funny, no i just want some chickens"
"No, Anne let me explain, they are 3 dollars a piece if they are sexed, that means they are definately"hens" "you know female chickens" are ya with me so far"?
"Yeah i said whispering"
"they are only a dollar if you get them "mixed" that means they will be a mixture of both, male and female, now take in mind the males don't lay eggs".
"If the males don't lay eggs what in the hell do they do" I inquired.
"They
will breed with the hens and then the eggs will become fertile and you can hatch them, Anne.""I don't want to hatch them , I want to eat them".
"Then you don't want roosters, you want all hens". "oh yeah they crow in the morning too, sweetest sound a farmer can hear".
"I think 3 dollars for a tiny baby chick is way too much, send me 50 of the mixed i will take my chances". click.
I am washing dishes and Tim walks in "Did you order the chicks"
"yeah, why?"
"oh great you got them all sexed? right?"
"no, that's crazy!"
"Oh Anne you will be sorry"
"You think you know everything I said" whats a couple of roosters we need something out there crowing in the morning it will sound like Charlotte's Web."
Tim just put his head down, shaking it and went back outside.
Fast forward: I got my chicks, real cute little buggers, I put them under a heat lamp , made a cage the whole nine yards, I only lost one I was so happy with myself every day feeding and watering them. I would see Tim sneak down there looking at them quietly shaking his head.
"Anne, i think you have quite a few roosters he would say"
"Nah you cant tell, yet some are just "you know, Different".
"Anne , I hate to tell you this but "different in the chicken world means they are roosters".
"Oh you think you know everything. I said"
fast forward:I got up one morning and it happened "er erer" thats my version of cockadoodle doo. "er erer" .
"Oh, my gosh we have 1 rooster thats great i ran out in to see this bird crowing "How cool is that"!!
out of the corner of my eye i could see Tim walking to the barn shaking his head. "Don't you never mind him, i whispered to the birds, he thinks he knows everything."
MAJOR fast forward: every morning i would hear one more bird crowing then 2 more then it sounded like the nuclear fallout bomb alert of the chicken world out there. Hmmmm must be i have a few more roosters than i thought. I wonder when the chickens will start laying eggs?
well out of 50 birds i had35 roosters yes that is not a typo 35. The chickens were not laying any eggs and it was so noisy here you couldn't hear yourself think.
I called Tim's dad. "Dad what in the hell am i doing wrong? the birds aren't laying any eggs?
"Are ya giving them laying mash for feed Annie? did you take out all those roosters?"
"Umm no"
"Anne those ladies are not gonna lay eggs if they are being chased around by a million guy roosters it would be like going to the Marilla Grill, but not just on friday night, every night. and you have to feed them laying mash, they need that protein."
crap
I made some phone calls seems there is this guy that buys roosters to eat them. I can make my money back my selling them. I boxed all of them up and my friend picked them up for delivery. "Got 50 cent s piece for them for ya, that's a great deal"
"What!!, I paid a buck for them and feed them for MONTHS!"
"oh well that's life in the chicken" world he said.
what the hell is the "chicken "world anyway I muttered under my breath.
I ordered laying mash so the chickens that stayed behind actually started laying so we were getting eggs. Yahoo this is great.
Then the price of milk fell, and it fell hard. I had absolutely no money to buy laying mash . None. so i started to feed them cornmeal from the cow bin.
No eggs
then they went into a molt and all their feathers fell out
No eggs.
Every day Tim walks by my little chicken coop shaking his head and i still whisper "pay no attention to him ladies he doesn't know a damn thing about chickens".
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